Stop Saying “Anyone”: How to Ask for Referrals That Actually Land | Networking Education

0:00 Why Saying Anyone Kills Referrals
Okay, so what we’re doing today is, um, making– a lot of us make this mistake, um, when we’re, when we’re doing the sixty-second, and also even just in general when we’re doing referrals, um, saying, "Oh, uh, anyone," you know, "What kind of referrals are you looking for?" "Anyone." It’s a huge mistake, and here’s how to fix it. Um, so the problem with anyone is that when you say, "Anyone who needs my service," you’re asking your chapter to look for every person they’ve ever met, and that’s too much.

0:30 How Vague Asks Freeze the Brain
The brain is gonna shut down, right? Um, and I remember, um, a lady, um, one of my first clients when I got started way back, I’m gonna sound like an old man for, for a second, um, but, um, her name was Diane Holmes, and she was wanting with wanting her water damage. And she would always start with her– who she was. Um, this is like, like five, seven, probably like seven, eight years ago.

0:55 Diane Holmes and the Weekly Specific Ask
She would start with who she was, what she did, what they were working on that week, and then this is the kind of referral they’re looking for. Um, and I thought that was nice because every week it changed. I mean, her slogan was the same, but what she’s working on was different, and also the kind of referral. This week we’re looking for this kind of referral. And so it gave you a visual picture, um, and it reminded me, reminded me of what my dad used to say. You know, um, my dad, who was one of my mentors for a, a, you know, a long time, he always said, "When you’re talking to people, use visual descriptions, um, visual pictures," because most of us are, you know, visual people, right?

1:34 Visual Descriptions Make Referrals Stick
So, um, how it specifically works, if you say, you know, "Think of anyone you know," we talked about your brain freezing up. Um, think of someone who owns a restaurant maybe. "Hey, I’m looking for a restaurant owner in Asheville who just opened a second location," then that’s might be something specific. So give the brain something to search for. And specific gets sp- so specific asks get specific results. So, um, so, like, um, these are sort of before and after.

2:04 Before and After Referral Ask Examples
Anyone who needs a roofer, "Hey, I’m looking for a real estate agent who works with roofers." Um, you know, um, a lo- instead of anyone who needs marketing, a local m- r- a local restaurant, et cetera, first-time home buyer, um, versus anyone buying a house. Um,

2:19 Four Ways to Get Specific
and so these are four ways to get specific with a specific profession, um, with a specific company or category, um, a specific area or a specific situation. Someone who is just in a transition, I’ve heard this before at a BNI meeting, somebody who’s working with people who’s going through tr- or going through transitions. Um, so, um, so teach your chapter what to look for, teach us what to listen for. Um, and, um, and then, and, and when you’re doing the sixty-second, try to ask for a specific type of referral.

2:51 Using Specific Asks in Your Sixty-Second
So I know that Becker will do this and say, "I’m looking for people interested in, you know, um, mitigation, uh, methane mitigation," you know. So, um, specifically. So I know what he’s looking for by what he’s asked for. But it’d be great to hear some specific asks for y- from you guys today. We don’t have to do that in the sixty-second, but it would be really cool to do that. Um, and, and also when you’re outside of BNI, do the same thing.

3:16 Applying This Outside BNI Too
When you strike it up with somebody at a, at the chamber, um, or another networking group and you– there’s some chemistry there, um, do a specific ask. "Hey, I’m really looking for e-commerce stores that just want more visibility in local community." Boom, that’s something specific than just like, you know, "I work with e-commerce." Um, so that’s your challenge. I think I got ahead of the challenge. Um, remove, remove the word anyone and, and say, "This league– this week I would specifically like to meet," and name one person, one profession, one company, one neighborhood. Um, so more specific is more relatable. Profession, situation, neighborhood, trigger phrase, that kind of thing. End of presentation.